Pushing to the Inevitable
by Wren Gebel
Summary: "Draco!" she yells. She rushes forward and grabs the brush out of his hand, but it is slick with blood and clatters into the sink. "What are you doing?" she gasps. "I need it off," he says and clasps his hand over the raw area on his forearm. "I hate it, Hermione." TRIGGER WARNING INSIDE. ONE-SHOT.


_**TRIGGER WARNING: I'm not sure if this really needs a warning, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. This story contains some self harm. Kind of. Just read at your own risk.**_

 **A/N: Written for round 10 of the QLFC season 3. My prompt this time was to write a dark character/light character paring so of course I jumped on using my otp XD! I know there is kind of a debate on whether Draco is really a dark character or a more lighter character. But, even though I don't think he's super dark, I see him more on the darker end of the spectrum than the lighter end just because of some of the things he did/was forced to do, ways he acted, etc. He was far from perfect, let's just leave it at that. Anyway, please favourite and review!**

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Pushing to the Inevitable

There is something off about the way it is so quiet and still when Hermione walks into the Heads' common room she shares with Draco Malfoy. He is normally seated in his favourite chair - the one facing the portrait hole - so that he can say something to her as soon as she walks in and get her riled up. But he isn't there today.

Hermione frowns. This isn't right. Draco had to be deathly ill before he'd stop trying to bother her. It makes her anxious to not have him right there.

"Draco?" she calls out softly.

She waits a minute, but there is no reply.

Thinking he might be in his room, she sets down her bag by the sofa and pads across the common room and up the steps to where his door is closed tightly.

"Draco," she says, and knocks crisply on his door.

No answer.

"Malfoy!" She is starting to get irritated. What could he possibly be doing that he can't hear her calling?

She goes to open his door when a sound from the bathroom stops her hand from moving on the cold brass handle.

It sounds like the tap is running at full blast. And, as she moves to the bathroom door, she can hear something else too; it sounds like he's crying.

It isn't the first time she's heard or seen him cry, but it still makes her chest hurt to hear it.

"Draco?" she says softly as she opens the door. "Are you-"

She stops, hand on the handle, chest heaving, terrified at what is in front of her.

In his hand is a stiff bristled brush and he is scrubbing it furiously against the skin of the inside of his left arm. There is blood running down his forearm, turning pink on the bristles of the brush and under the stream of water, and there are tears on his cheeks and in his eyes and dangling from the end of his chin.

He doesn't look up when she comes in. He just keeps rubbing the spot on his arm over and over, staining the brush with the blood that's pooling freely.

It's like Hermione is frozen for a second. She can't move. She just keeps looking at his arm in horror and trying to think of something to say that will make him stop.

"Draco!" she yells, finally finding words.

She rushes forward and grabs the brush out of his hand, but it is slick with blood and clatters into the sink.

He finally looks up at her, his eyes puddled and bloodshot.

"What are you doing?" she gasps, starting to feel her own eyes pool over.

"I need it off," he says and clasps his hand over the raw area on his forearm.

"Why?" she asks, touching her hand gently to his cheek. "I told you I don't care about it."

She searches for his eyes, but he won't look at her. He just keeps staring at his hand and the water and the pink stained bottom of the sink.

"I hate it, Hermione." He blinks tears out of his eyes and bares his teeth. "I hate seeing it every day, reminding me of all the horrible things..." he grinds out. "I've tried everything! Potions, spells, charms. It won't come off!" He digs the heel of his hand into the tears on his arm.

Hermione places her hands gingerly over his fingers and gently pulls them away from his arm. He watches her silently as she moves his arm under the stream of water, hissing as the water hits the fresh cuts and washes away the blood.

She moves her thumb lightly over his Dark Mark that has now been contorted and torn from his excessive scrubbing.

After a moment, he speaks again, and this time his words are more sad than angry, "I just wanted it gone so you wouldn't be ashamed of me."

Her head snaps up to look at his face. His eyes meet hers finally and she bites her lip.

"Draco, I'm not ashamed of you!" she says. "Why would you think that?"

He swallows thickly and Hermione turns off the tap so that she can hear him clearly. The sudden silence they didn't know was missing is weird.

"Granger, we've been dating for five months and you still haven't told your friends."

Her mouth falls open. "I thought you didn't want me to tell them! You always remarked that we shouldn't be doing this!"

"You said that, too! I always thought it was because of who I am: ex-Pureblood supremacist, ex-Death Eater with the bloody mark to shout it to the world!"

She lunged herself at him, wrapping her arms around his torso and burying her face in his chest, crying and smiling at the same time.

"It's not because of your mark, Draco! I've told you before that it tells not of the person you were, but of the person you've battled to become and I'm very proud of you!"

After a moment, she feels his arms wrap around her back and pull her closer to him. She feels something warm and sticky on her back and she realizes that he's bleeding through her shirt, but she doesn't really care. It's nothing a little magic can't fix.

"If you want me to tell my friends, I will," she mumbles into his chest.

He takes a deep breath and lets it go on her shoulder where his head is bent and his lips are resting. "Only if you want to."

She gives him a reassuring squeeze. "I want to."

He chuckles quietly into her shoulder. "They're going to hate us." She feels his lips quirk up into a smile and she grins too because he's not crying anymore.

"I don't care what they think about us," she says. "I don't care what anyone thinks."

She pulls away from him and takes his arm again in her hand.

"Promise you won't do anything like this again," she tells him.

He takes her hand. "I promise."

She stands on her toes and kisses him quickly. "Good. I like you just how you are."


End file.
